Help me welcome Morgan Malone to the blog today!
COCKTALES
An After-50 Dating Memoir…or Eight Years, around Eighty Men, but not nearly Eight Thousand Kisses.
No one would know to look at me that I am the author of a tell-all tale of dating online for almost a decade. I am 60ish, short, with dyed blonde hair, a few too many extra pounds, a knee replacement scar and glasses often perched on my nose. I am a retired lawyer, who served as an administrative law judge for 15 of my 30 years at a small state agency. I still work as an arbitrator and teach Sunday School at my synagogue.
But, for several years I was Dina, Warrior Princess, sifting through the profiles on Cupid, Match and Adult Friend Finder, looking for love in all the wrong places.
Approaching 50, widowed for 15 years, I just wanted to feel like a woman one more time. Not “Mom.” Not “Your Honor.” Not “Sis.” But, a desirable and desired woman.
I stumbled into the world of online dating one Sunday morning when I received an instant message on AOL while I was online trying to balance my checking account. Tim said hello and, mistaking him for my older brother, I responded. Within a few sentences, I realized my error and signed off. He sent a sweetly apologetic and flirty e-mail a day later. With those few paragraphs, he made me feel like a woman, a real woman. It didn’t take too long for my fears to fall away enough for me to agree to meet him for a cup of coffee, a glass of wine, or whatever else I wanted. I took all the necessary precautions. We would meet in a public place and my best friend had an envelope to open if I did not check in regularly. The envelope contained his name, home address and phone, cell phone, work address and phone, make and model of his truck and license plate number. And his social security number – he REALLY wanted to meet me! He was dark and handsome, sexy and funny.
One thing led to another and I returned home with a huge grin on my face. I slept better than I had in years! That was the beginning. We didn’t last, though he still calls occasionally to catch up. But, he opened the door for me and I walked through.
Cocktales is the true story of my adventures and misadventures in the world of online dating. It is full of practical advice (never wear knee-high hose on a first date, NEVER), giggles and groans. But it is also my story about changing from a lonely woman to a dating temptress to a woman who could love and be loved again. It is my personal testament to the possibilities of life, once you take the leap and decide to live.
Join me on my journey. It is a roller-coaster ride I think you will enjoy.
About the Author:
My pen-name is Morgan Malone. A twist on the old “What is my stripper name? A combination of the name of your first pet and the street you grew up on: Dino Homestead. I opted instead for the name of my first cat and my hometown to create Morgan Malone, an erudite yet brazen hussy, who decided, after 15 years of widowhood, to see if there were any men in America (and parts of Canada) who wanted to have sex with a 50 year-old woman. At least that is what I told myself I was doing. Along my almost ten-year journey through the online dating sites, I discovered men who were just as unsure of their intentions as I was. As I flirted with them, met them and even slept with quite a few, I began peeling off the layers of my emotional armor with less reluctance than I was peeling off my carefully coordinated lingerie. I found some really nice men, some very sexy men, some real dogs and a handful of genuine human beings who became friends as well as lovers. And I started to find myself: not just a mom, a lawyer, a wife and a widow but a woman I did not recognize. Yet there she was: a woman I did not like at times, a woman I thought no man would ever love, a woman who spent the first part of her life being the woman she thought she must be, a woman who was facing the last third of her life, finally, with anticipation.
My adventures and misadventures were met with disbelief by my friends who were convinced, almost to a woman, that the only men interested in a woman of our years was nigh on to 80 and in need of “a nurse and a purse.” So Cocktales has become not only a chronicle of my personal journey from widow to woman, from alone to independent, from needy to satisfied, but an instruction manual for the thousands of women facing the last half of their lives lonely and lacking confidence.
I am a published author of Katarina: Out of Control, an erotic romance with shades of “grey.” In September, my country singer-feisty reporter erotic romance, Unanswered Prayers, will be released by Turquoise Morning Press. I belong to several romance writers groups, with an online membership of several hundred voracious readers, authors, reviewers and bloggers, many of whom encouraged me to write. My blog is read regularly by many of these readers and also the growing audience of listeners who have heard me read my mainstream essays on NPR’s “51%”, a nationally broadcast show directed at women, and also on “Roundtable”, a popular program heard on WAMC, Northeast Public Radio.
I have just turned 62. I live near Saratoga Springs, NY with my chocolate Labrador Retriever. We enjoy occasional visits from my daughter who is a clinical psychologist and my son who is works in internet college sports reporting in Seattle. I paint watercolors, swim as often as I can and still practice law in between writing romance and memoir.
Her latest book is Cocktales: An After-50 Dating Memoir.
For More Information:
- Visit Morgan Malone’s website.
- Connect with Morgan on Facebook and Twitter.
- Find out more about Morgan at Goodreads.
- Contact Morgan.
Title: Cocktales: An After-50 Dating Memoir
Author: Morgan Malone
Publisher: Turquoise Morning Press
Pages: 264
Genre: Romantic Memoir
An After-50 Dating Memoir…or Eight Years, around Eighty Men, but not nearly Eight Thousand Kisses.
There I was. Approaching 50, widowed for 15 years, alone for all that time, except for two kids, one dog, a full-time legal career, a house, a mortgage, some dear friends…and a wish. I just wanted to feel like a woman one more time. Not “Mom.” Not “Your Honor.” Not “Sis.” But, a desirable and desired woman.
I knew I wouldn’t, couldn’t fall in love again. My heart was buried in a grave in Brooklyn. But, I could offer a sense of humor, big blue eyes and intelligent conversation. I wasn’t sure about kissing or anything else; it had been a long time and I was not sure that sex was like riding a bike (which I could no longer do, given a bad knee and too many extra pounds). I was willing to try. Would anyone be interested?
To my surprise, the cyber-world was full of men like me; men who were looking for a second chance at love or lust, with a real woman, a woman just like me.
Cocktales is the true story of my adventures and misadventures in the world of online dating. It is full of practical advice (never wear knee-high hose on a first date, NEVER), giggles, groans and my growth as a woman. I cried a few tears, I made plenty of mistakes, but I also made many friends. I even fell in love.
Join me on my journey. It is a roller-coaster ride I think you will enjoy.
Excerpt:
Right before my forty-ninth birthday, I asked my husband if he minded if I had sex with another man. He didn’t answer me, so I persisted.
“Listen, I’m almost fifty years old, I know. Who would want me? I’ve had two kids and a hysterectomy. I’ve got stretch marks, scars and cellulite. And I know I need to lose at least fifty pounds.”
No response.
“It’s been a long dry spell, you know. Almost fifteen years. I think I’m entitled to at least one more orgasm that doesn’t come from something powered by a nine-volt battery.”
Still nothing.
“Okay, then, I take your silence to mean I am on my own in this. You don’t have an opinion one way or the other. Right?” Silence.
It was March and the Yankees were still in Spring Training so I knew so there were no distractions from current league standings or the pitching staff. His side of the bed was ghostly quiet. And empty. He had been dead for almost fifteen years.
I talked to him all the time. Not every minute of the day, but an ongoing dialogue in my head where I kept him informed of the day-to-day minutiae of our lives. I announced major developments then I waited for an answer. Call me crazy, but there were times when I heard his response in my head as clearly as if he had just spoken directly in my ear.
Sometimes, like now, there was nothing. Figure it out for yourself.
So, I turned out the light and sent a silent prayer Heavenward. “God, just once before I am over fifty, let me have sex with a man who wants me, let me remember how to do it. And let me feel. Amen.”
For More Information
- Cocktales: An After-50 Dating Memoir is available at Amazon.
- Pick up your copy at Barnes & Noble.
- Discuss this book at PUYB Virtual Book Club at Goodreads